As Predicted...

He got home at 1:45AM. And he walked in apologizing. Saying, "I am an asshole," "I am a selfish prick," blablabla. So he sulked for awhile about how crappy he felt. He even managed to make that situation about him. Then he moved on to, "I know I haven't treated you well," and "I don't deserve you." And then he finally got around to, "I'm so sorry," "I missed you while I was there," and "I really did want to watch the games with you." And he says he will try to be better, but since he is "just an asshole" it is hard to fix his behavior. That is such bullshit. He is not a bad person. He is not inherently asshole-ish. He just behaves like one sometimes. He should be able to fix that. Just don't fucking tell me "I'll be back in a half hour" and then come home over seven hours later! It is as simple as not saying anything about when he will be back. I am sick of feeling so insignificant, forgettable, and disposable. I don't have "I love you," I don't even have the boyfriend-girlfriend titles. All I have to prove that he cares about me is how he acts and how he treats me. Last night--not so good.

The only thing I did wrong last night was calling him at about 12:15AM. I wish I hadn't. I hate showing how much I think about him. But I couldn't stand it any longer. That was 6 hours into his "half hour" out.

He just came over to apologize again. He has to work on a paper all day. Which is fine with me. I believe that he is sorry, but I am still feeling a little cranky and don't really want to spend the whole day with him.

On the up side, let the days of laziness begin. I'm going to take a shower, then go out and buy mindless magazines. Maybe tomorrow I will call my new friend in the building and see if she wants to do something. Today, I'm just going to vegetate.