Can't Wait For This Week To End

I still haven't called P back. Ugh. I am awful. I know. Things just keep getting more and more stressful here, and it keeps conveniently moving to the back of my list. Why is my first instinct always to avoid uncomfortable situations? I don't know when I started doing that, where I learned it from, or why I still do it. But as far as P goes, right now I just have bigger fish to fry.

Aside from the thesis (my number one stress at the moment), which I am still making slow progress on, I have other things to worry about right now.

Number two is the job search, which I have figured out I will not really be able to jump into until I am done with this thesis draft. I just HATE not knowing where I will be next year or what I will be doing. I need to figure this out soon so that I don't end up having to move back in with my parents while I figure it out. I just want to stay out on my own.

Number three is my Mom's birthday present. I had it all figured out. I had ordered her some clothes online, and they were set to arrive today or tomorrow--enough time for me to turn around and ship them with a few other things in a package to her. But last night, my plan went to hell. You know how when you are already stressed out, one little thing can send you flying over the edge? That was how this was. I had a meltdown. This is what happened:

Last night, he and I ate dinner and watched the Bachelorette finale and post-finale show (DeAnna picked the right guy, in case you are curious) and then decided to watch one of the many movies we have rented. He wanted to watch Drillbit Taylor. It sounded like the right pace for me at that point in the night, so I agreed (it wasn't all that funny, but somewhat cute). After we finished the movie, I checked my email. I found a shipment confirmation from Ann Taylor Loft (where I ordered my Mom's clothes--she loves their stuff), but it only had one item I had ordered on it. I paid $20 for overnight shipping, and all they decided to ship me was a $30 shirt I had ordered. I used my order confirmation number to check the rest of my order online, figuring it would just ship separately, but it was no longer listed as part of my order at all. So I had essentially wound up paying $50 for one $30 shirt. Since it was 2AM, there wasn't much I could do about it right then... except cry. I had a complete and utter meltdown. Not rational, I know. But as I said, I was already stressed almost to my breaking point.

This morning, I called customer service, and it turns out that the rest of my order is no longer in stock, etc, etc--a fact which no one informed me of. No voicemail, no email, no nothing. I was pretty pissed, since I had paid so much in shipping and the one item I will get was meant to go with the rest of the order (an outfit). The lady on the phone was trying her best to figure it out for me, but it was clear that she could not do much to help me. So I really have no choice but to wait for the shirt to get to me and bring it to a Loft store downtown to try to straighten things out. Like I have time for that. The point of ordering online and paying a pretty nasty shipping cost was to save me the time of actually going to the store. Now I am out an extra $20 for absolutely no reason.

Seeing that I was distraught and on the verge of a second meltdown this morning, he did something I never would have expected. He offered to go downtown for me later in the week and take care of it. He hates shopping, especially for women's clothing, so I was pretty surprised by the offer. Every now and then he really surprises me. So not only is he going to bring the shirt downtown to return it, but he is going to take care of picking up a whole new outfit for my Mom. Of course, it is risky to send him into a women's clothing store and expect him to come out with a wearable outfit, but since there are pictures of everything online, I can send him with explicit instructions on what to get. I am still kind of stressed and irritated by the whole situation, but it makes me feel much better to know that it will be taken care of. I doubt that I will get the shipping cost back, but I guess that teaches me to shop online rather than in the store. I don't think I will be shopping at Ann Taylor Loft online again anytime soon. Their customer service is clearly slightly lacking (they could have at least left me a message so I could have canceled my whole order rather than paying that ridiculous shipping charge for ONE SHIRT!).

On top of all of the other things stressing me out, I obviously also have the stress of the situation with him constantly bubbling just under the surface. He has shown that he cares about me, we spend all of our time together--I still don't quite get the August expiration date. Should I tell him that I want to go with him wherever he goes? That is the only thing left that I haven't said. What do I have to lose at this point? I don't know. I am probably just grasping at straws.

At least once July 12 is here, I will have my draft in, I will be able to put time into my job search, and I will have time to relax without feeling guilty. All of this stress will be in the past. Most of it anyways.