Dreary

The weather is not pleasant today. Dark, dreary, and cold (compared to how warm it has been). I have a busy week ahead of me, and as usual I didn't accomplish much this weekend. I have a midterm due on Friday. I SHOULD go back to the downtown library on Friday too. When HE heard about the midterm and my need to go back to the library, he was disappointed. I couldn't figure out why. It turns out he was hoping that I would go to the conference (at least I think he was serious...). He has to moderate a session, and is nervous. Plus, he is nervous in situations where he has to mingle (like dinners and cocktail parties). There will be a few of those. I am surprised that he wants me there. Maybe I will go.

We haven't talked about what was said on Saturday, aside from him saying, "You were pretty upset." I guess we are going pretend like it didn't happen. I was a bit tipsy. Maybe he actually said, "I'M FALLING in love with you," and not "I'VE FALLEN in love with you." Not much of a difference I guess, but one really means "I may end up in love with you," while the other says, "I AM in love with you." I am pretty sure he said the latter. But the fact that we haven't talked about it makes me wonder if I heard wrong. I mean, saying that is a BIG deal. Shouldn't this change everything? I guess if I want to know what he actually said/meant I will have to bring it up. I am hesitant to do that. I have been rocking the boat a lot lately. He seems rather un-phased by the whole thing. But I guess I probably seem pretty nonchalant to him too. Neither of us has brought it up, and for now it will stay that way.

He is still sleeping here. And yes, his computer is still in the shop. He expects it back today or tomorrow. As much as I sometimes want my own space and time to myself, I have grown quite accustomed to having him hear. I like being with him and sleeping with him. He keeps telling me that when it comes back he wants us BOTH to switch to his apartment (so he can smoke). Who knows what we are doing anymore.

We are having a guest in the class I have today. A historical figure who is pretty famous in the field that I study (obviously modern history). I am nervous. And with the nasty weather, I don't know what to wear that will look nice and still keep me warm. I guess that is a minor problem.