His computer came home yesterday, but he asked if he could sleep at my apartment anyways. Last night will be the last time he sleeps here until at least Saturday night. He has conference prep. tomorrow, and the conference until Saturday night. I am still so nervous about him seeing his ex. He is going out for drinks with her and a group of people they both know (they all met during a job related to their field of study) at least one night. He may bring her back here to show her his apartment. I know that he is the type who wants to remain friends with his exes. Which is fine. Healthy. Mature. But they only broke up in August, and that scares me. Especially since they haven't seen each other since. Like any normal person, he obviously wants her to see how well he has been doing since they broke up. I just hope that he at least mentions me. It is out of my hands.
I am stressed out about my schoolwork, I am stressed out about HIM, and I am stressed out about figuring out what to do after I graduate. I don't want August to be the end for me and him. I want to fight for him--for us--but I just don't know if I should, or if I can deal with the possible negative consequences of doing so.
We still haven't talked about our conversation from Saturday night. It isn't the right time for me to bring it up (if I bring it up at all), because he is completely wrapped up in pre-conference stress right now. I need to think more about if I actually want to bring it up anyways, and what I would hope to accomplish by talking about it.
My class trip next week will be good for me. I need to get out of town and get some perspective.
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