Surprises

Well, things are getting more interesting. I seriously thought about deleting my account on that website, and I probably would have if I hadn't gotten a message that asked me about some of the movies listed as my favorites. Movies are a weak point for me. I love talking about them. Me and this guy have exchanged quit a few messages now, and I enjoy talking to him. I also got another message that intrigued me. In the two days I have had a profile, about 20 guys have sent me messages. Who knew people were so outgoing? It is a bit overwhelming. I don't really want to/have time to respond to them ALL. So, I don't know what I am doing now. If it weren't for the guy I have been exchanging messages with, I would almost certainly delete. But I enjoy chatting with him. That doesn't mean I want to DATE him. We just have a lot in common, and it is nice to talk to someone new. Some of the people are a bit odd. I have one guy open a message with, "Do you know any cross dressers?" Wow. Interesting conversation starter. But aside from that, most people have been polite, and normal, and genuinely seem like they just want to meet new people. So I guess I will stay for now. I really am not interested in dating, but I think it is fun to talk to people. I never thought I would actually enjoy a "dating" site. Of course, I don't need to tell him. He would not like it.

Speaking of him... I was not entirely pleased with him during the day yesterday. As silly as it might sound, I was still a little bruised about the whole "pretty lady" thing. To make matters worse, C's boyfriend J got him more pot. Just when it was all gone! So he went to pick it up after class yesterday. It put me in a little bit of a foul mood. When he got home, I was trying to hide my annoyance, and was probably failing. But then he surprised me. He gave me a gift. The box set of the Sex and the City series! I have been wanting to get it for awhile, but was reluctant to buy it because it is kind of expensive. It is about $100 now--and as a strapped-for-cash grad student, I could not really justify the purchase. I can't believe he bought that for me! I love it, but it makes me feel almost... guilty. He is just as strapped-for-cash as me. And on top giving me the set, he watched a few episodes with me last night so he can "prepare to take [me] to see the movie." I don't know what got into him yesterday. Maybe the box set was the much more expensive equivalent of buying me flowers after feeling like he did something to upset me. And even if he should not have spent that much money, it showed much more thought than flowers. It was just REALLY sweet of him, and REALLY too much. How could I have stayed upset with him after that? We had a great night. One of the best in awhile. Just happy, and cuddling, and enjoying each other's company.

So his sweetness last night did make me feel a little more guilty about impulsively signing up for that site. But I can delete my account any time, right? It isn't even being on there that is the problem. I just feel like I am leading a double life. It is the "lie by omission" that is grinding on my conscience. And I also feel a little cheesy for signing up. I normally have a healthy skepticism about these online dating sites, but maybe I judged too soon. I am still on the fence about keeping the account, but for today, it stays.

I have my last class today. Then it is a week of finals hell. But I think after class today, I will get all the practical stuff done. Pay my rent, go to the bank, buy groceries, do my dishes, clean my apartment. Prepare for paper-writing. I think that is a good plan. Or maybe I just don't feel like starting my paper and final today. But I really do think better with a clean space. And I have to pay my rent by tomorrow. So, I am sticking to my plan.